Kink In Exile

Lube for women? is this Pink as in the Victoria’s Secret spin-off brand Pink? Aloe and vitamin E for my lady bits? Ok, sure, I’ll try it. I actually first tried Pink lube when they sent a whole bunch of little sample packs to SFSI. I thought it needed further exploration and it just so happens that Sextoy.com has it in their lube selection.

Pink is a silicon lubricant that does indeed contain aloe and vitamin E, but the first thing I noticed was that it looks like a perfume bottle. This is definitely lube marketed to women, but it also seems to be a solid, hypo-allergenic product. It’s less thick than other silicon lubes I’ve tried perhaps because of the addition of aloe gel and other moisturizing ingredients so you may need to reapply a couple of times. It was also really gentle — I’m very cautious when it comes to picking lube because I find so many of them irritating, but Pink didn’t give me any problems at all.

On the whole I liked it better for use with vibrators and other sex toys than for partnered sex because it just wasn’t as thick as I like and I’m not sure how to judge if it was as moisturizing as it promised to be. Oh and I was not able to confirm the rumor that Victoria’s Secret owns Pink and I suspect they wouldn’t sell it through adult stores if they did.

I recently had the chance to grab a cup of coffee at Wicked Grounds, a kink-themed coffee shop in San Francisco’s SoMa district.  Given that most of the kinksters I know these days are cafe-dwelling programers who will passionately argue the benefits of Blue Bottle over Ritual over Four Barrels  and that the chunk of Folsom between 8th and Dore has the highest concentration of kink venues I’ve seen anywhere in the continental United States I’d say these kids are on to something.  So what makes a coffee shop kink friendly?  Well, for starters it’s the writing on the wall — out with the politically correct community art that looks like you baby sister spit up on a recycled handkerchief and in with local kink artists and pornographers, explicit images and kinky in-jokes.  Then there are the books, greeting cards and various other nicknacks for sale that line the shelves — all kink themed and with a nice selection of local artists to boot.

The nice thing is though that this place lives up to my yupster coffee shop needs.  Good fresh roasted coffee (supplied by Ritual), interesting pastries, and fast internet.  Wicked Grounds also has an interesting decorating scheme for an area populated by people selling top rate coffee out of unfinished warehouses.  They have a fully built out space with red velvet upholstered chairs and a dungeon-light style.

Over all a cool place but file under “only in San Francisco.”  Now if only I could figure out how to solicit my readers for cups of coffee…

I know, sex work is that last resort you’re supposed to turn to in bad time or some such, but that just isn’t true. You see every once in a while I start pining for sex work. I miss the pro-domming sessions or the modeling work I’ve just been too busy to pursue, I troll Craigslist in search of something fast and safe-seeming. I feel bad about this at time, as though I am taking work away from people for whom this is their day job just to get my rocks off, but hey, my once a month pining for a quick $100 bucks just for showing up, lifting my skirt, and peeing on some poor bloke isn’t about to put Capp Street out of business. I’m also finding that this just isn’t a good business model. In fact, it isn’t a business so much as a self-funding hobby. In my fantasy world I’d have one regular client who passed through town every few weeks and that would more than fulfill the whoring item on my sexual to-do list. Maybe that can be my new year’s resolution for 2010.

Many of my readers know who I am. They knew me before I started this blog, or they met me at some sex blogger meet-up somewhere. But I wonder what this says to readers who don’t know me. I’ve been trying to get back into blog reading recently, and it’s always an interesting process discovering a new blog, becoming intimate with a stranger. Were we in the same place last night, and you didn’t know it until I blogged about that hot scene I watched? Are we next door neighbors? I know I read blogs kept by others in my fair city, and it’s not that big a city. I’ve been reading Sex and the Ivy and it seems so familiar — if I close my eyes I can see fall hitting Harvard yard, flame red leaves on a dying quad and paper Tealuxe cup burning my hands as I cut past red brick buildings and bronze statues (but not the original yellow house) to the other side of the square and that strange cluster of museums. And yet, I’m almost certain I’ve never met Lena, never even heard of the Harvard sex scandal (at least not one she describes) until this morning.

I wonder too about the impact of my blog on the people in my life. I know the consequences of having this blog come back to me, but I also publish porn under my real name — I don’t have my heart set on running for school superintendent any time soon. What happens when my boyfriend’s boss reads my blog though? I guess this is why I remind him that I blog about my sex over and over again (and why I don’t date politicians and parents

When I started this blog I had to contend not only with personal privacy, but also a heavily monitored and censored internet connection. Since getting back to the states I’ve slaked on the privacy front — I’ve posted pictures, logged on without a proxy, and given readers much stronger geographical ties than “south east asia near an elephant hospital.” Still I believe now as I believed then privacy is a polite falsehood. I don’t break the law in meaningful ways and the FBI doesn’t dust off my file. I don’t come to work in handcuffs and my boss doesn’t ask about my Friday night. The best you can do is not do the things you wouldn’t survive the world knowing.

I’m reading Domme Chronicles archives and all I can think about is how much I want to hurt him, and I wonder if I have a whip, or maybe a strap that’s the right length so that I could beat him while I fuck his pretty ass.

I always get my meanest ideas while reading others’ exploits…

You know, sometimes I look at a sex toy and I have to have it, other times I’m not really sure how I feel about it and I want to find out. These Weighted Nipple Clamps were in the latter category. I wanted an alternative to my clover clamps, and my tweezer style clamps had eaten through their little rubber tips, so these seemed like a fun thing to try.

Overall, this is a good set of nipple clamps — fully adjustable, and rubber tipped for added safety and convenience. However, I want them to be more versatile. You can remove the weight if you wish, which is definitely a good start, but I want to be able to interchange weights or add on weight incrementally so I can build a bottom up to handling more. I’m also used to the interaction aspect of clover clamps (you pull they tighten) and I think different size weights would make these clamps more interactive.

That said, however, at just over $12 this toy gives you your dirty money’s worth. And of course nipple clamps are small, quiet, and pack a punch while being easy to pack, so maybe I’ll find a creative and interactive way to use these little devils next time I travel. Anyone got advice in the mean time?

As always, thank you to the nice folks at Sextoy.com and you can check them out for nipple clamps, vibrators, and other dirty delights.

I am not gentle when it comes to hurting people. In fact I have looked at the bruises the day after with horror and considered applying for a job with the Chinese riot police. I do, however, get off on getting people to where they want to be.

We hear a lot about dominance as demanding — do this because I told you. I get off on knowing that the subject of my affection craves submission. I want to hear him beg — for pain, for punishment, for ownership; what ever. I get off on that slip into head-space, but also on the gratitude. On seeing that sense of coming home in someone’s eyes especially when that someone is kneeling at my feet.

Maybe this post should be renamed “I had a good night last night and my brain is still fried.”

Ripple Effect II by ~xXTaintedwhispersXx

Pleasurists is a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #43? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #45? Submit it here before Sunday August 30th at 11:59pm PDT. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

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Madame Editrix
Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

Editor’s Pick

• Fresh Chain Leash by AveryDragon

Humiliation on its own seems petty and mean; this I do admit. However, humiliation is the key for lust and passion when the person being humiliated secretly enjoys it. [...] Fresh uses bright pastel colors that a guy might get his girl to ease her into the idea of BDSM by showing it can be cute but still strong. In my case, when there are two guys involved, I make my boy take one for the team and work with products he never dreamed of being in.

On to the reviews…

Vibrators

• G-Twist by Carnivalesq
• I Rub My Fishie by Ginger Leigh
• Armor Piercing Bullet by Sommer Marsden
• Couples Vacation Pleasure Kit by Amorous Rocker
• Nexus G-Play by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
• Tongue Joy by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
• G-Twist by Essin’ Em
• LELO Mia by Alisa
• California Exotics Intimate Foreplay Kit by Alley

Dildos

• Tantus Feeldoe More by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

Anal Toys

• Treeze Redwood Medium Tear Drop Plug by Wilhelmina Wang
• B Bomb by Carnivalesq
• Tantus Protouch by Miss KissThis
• Luna by Epiphora
• Tantus Ripple Small by AveryDragon
• Tantus Ripple Large by AveryDragon

Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.

• Sliquid Splash Honeydew Cucumber by Melen’s Rayne
• Probe Thick and Rich & Silky Light by ScottA
• Inttimo Shave Creme by The Duchess
• Daring Lemongrass Anal Relaxing Spray by AveryDragon
• Babeland Toy Cleaner by Sexorcism
• Astroglide glycerin and paraben free by Saraid
• Sliquid Splash Fragrance Free by Sexorcism

BDSM/Fetish

• Tantric Satin Ties Pleasure Whip by AveryDragon
• Vibrating Nipple Clamps by Carnivalesq
• KinkLab Spandex Hood with Built-In Blindfold by AveryDragon
• Under the Bed Restraints System by Epiphora

Adult Books

• The Bottoming Book by Essin’ Em
• Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot by Domina Doll

Adult Movies/Porn

• Sexual Sushi by J.D. Bauchery
• Stavros by FrzKey
• San Francisco Lesbians 5 – Scene 1 by The Porn Librarian
• TMSleaze by J.D. Bauchery
• Sweet Summer by J.D. Buachery
• Rough Sex by Epiphora
• Not the Bradys XXX: Marcia, Marcia, Marcia by Domina Doll
• Nina Hartley’s Guide To Great Sex During Pregnancy by Domina Doll

Miscellaneous

• Liberator Stage by Marla Singer St. Syr
• Upstairs Maid Costume by Sleeping Dreamer
• Liberator Fascinator Throe by Domina Doll